There are strangers in my home — tearing up the bathroom to put in a new bath…The floor is rotted out – they’ll have to take out the whole floor…I have to take a dump.
Had a good time at a party last night. Fun to see everyone over at Willivee…Speaking of bathrooms – I think Molly’s toilet is way too low to the ground…I mean – if I was to take a dump over there – I’m sure my knees would be higher than my ears…
Good to see Amber — who tells me she reads my “column,” and refuses to say blog because she thinks it sounds too sexual. I tried to goad her into leaving a comment once in a while…She says she rarely even reads the comments — which are more often than not the best part of this blog — because you people are just so damn funny…
Of course there were a bunch of other people there as well — but — well — it would just take too damn long to mention everyone…and they don’t read my column anyways…That’s it — I’m going somewhere to take a dizzity.
mmmmmmm yea..you like that? blog?
you like that? bloggy blog?
I’m gonna bloggity blog blog all in your E-Y-E.
Oh yea..are you being cheeky?
blog-blog-blog..ohhhh yassss.. (spurt) BLOG!
you think i’m funny? really? i mean, i make you laugh and stuff? that is so cool!! thanks a lot man!!
Ewwwwww yas…..all dis bliggins on my blog. Damn girl! Damn!
Funny. I always thought ‘blog’ sounded like something you’d do on a toilet.
this is painful stuff…I mean – finding a place to drop the kids off at the pool isn’t very hard – it’s got a lot more to do with the behavior of some members of this crew…who have been in my home now for two days…I feel kinda uncomfortable writing about it right now — as I can feel their eyes bearing down on my soul — but it’s noteworthy enough for its own entry – when they have safely evacuated the building…
Is that corn in my blog? Damn you corn.
Damn you for ruining a work of art.
Wait. I was mistaken.
Forgive me. That is a piece of tomato.
Yup. Tomato in my blog. Clearly a piece of tomato.
Wait..wait a second…
(inspecting closer)
Dear god..OH DEAR JESUS…..WHY????? WHY????????
IT’S A HUMAN TOOTH…….
I feel like a star.
Amber alert!