Lately I’ve been feeling this incredible resurgence of a want. Perhaps that isn’t the proper noun. (By proper noun I mean a noun that is appropriate, not noun that refers to person place or thing. Well, actually, I guess it does refer to a thing as well, since a want is a thing. Isn’t it? So maybe I should capitalize it in this scenario.) This particular Want is bordering on becoming a need. Yet this Want is one I haven’t experienced in many a day – so this Want has become somewhat unfamiliar.
I want to write. Then again, maybe it isn’t so specific. I want to create. I want to do something to seperate myself from this god-awful feeling that I am still not getting anything done. There is a pile of invisible tasks that I can randomly sort through in my head, ambiguously prioritize, and shift back and forth. It’s like I’m playing 52 card pick-up ad infinitum. It’s like being a freshman in High School and having some big Senior knock your books outta your hands. It’s like, um, really annoying.
I think this Want is a big ugly beast and I wish it would leave me alone. It follows me around all day whispering into my ear pulling my thoughts from the task at hand and stretching out the span of time before me until everything is distorted into some perversion of my…
Wait a minute…
I was just hungry.
[actually -- there's more to this...I'm just so full of food right now that I can't possibly continue what in truth I started several hours ago.]
probably just gas.
….And it smells!