Ten years ago I found myself a relatively recent graduate. Uncertain. Scared. Pretty much lost without an inkling of where I was headed. What the hell was I going to do with a dual major in English Literature and Philosophy? I didn’t have a clue. It was overwhelming. I felt bogged down. I watched as friends moved away, moved on, moved up – and I just felt stuck.
Back then, blogs were booming. I still had an itching to be a writer. My parents kept telling me how I should do something with my knowledge of computers. I figured starting a blog would be added skills to plop onto my resume.
So I started one. You can’t trace back to the oldest entries on here now. Ya gotta maneuver your way through the Internet Archive. That’s fine with me. There’s not much of character in many of those entries. I was not enjoying life as a line cook. I’m not sure that I was enjoying life, period. I’d just had my heartbroken.
It’s a little depressing how little things seem to have changed.
Still, ten years is ten years. Perhaps I should lay down a timeline and tick off significant moments. Just reading through what I did in looking back tonight, I find someone on the other end that I find somewhat hideous, a stranger, or at least I wish they were, anyone but me.
I’m holding things back. There’s so much going on inside of me right now – but it would come across as a horrible mess if I made it public. I’m weighed down. Carved out. Exhausted.
But still it goes on.
Happy Birthday Yezbick.com. I hope things pick up for you.