July 2003 Archives
I'm having trouble deciding what is the signature piece of the landscaping here at the abode. Could it be the natural splendor of the landslide trails that spill right into the carport? Or possibly the
dead bathtub? Most likely it is the bemused looking glass frog in the backyard. Content to just reflect on everything.
Looks like sesameseventies.com got maxed out after everybody linked to it yesterday...I'm not sure which of my siblings has those sesame street albums -- but it's nice to know that I can download them now...
Did anybody just see that? I knew it was coming...
A caller just got through to Good Day Live claiming to be a writer for Bob Hope - he schmoozed for a bit but then broke out with:
"Can I ask you a question?"
Steve: "Sure..."
"Would you like Howard Stern's balls on your chin?"
Steve: "Uhhh...no"
"jerk off"
pretty doggone crazy.
Today is my Saturday. I have no plans. I could cut the lawn. No. I could put my laundry away. Nah. I could finish up the PDF file for the joerb website. Maybe later. I could take pictures of myself in a bathtub and sucking on giant cow udders...actually - that will require the assistance of the roommate - who is still asleep -- as we were up until 4 am this morning - probably due to the rush of energy one gets from watching old episodes of The Larry Sanders Show....
No - I'm not really sure yet what I'm gonna do today...but if you read on - I'll show you how Monsieur managed to tack on another 3 months of AOL for free for himself - complete with his inability to put proper punctuation within the confines of quotation marks and spelling errors...
Because: Amber has had one of her letters to David Letterman read - on the air....I believe it went something like this:
Dear Dave.
Have you ever gotten the hiccups on your show?
Amber, Atlanta GA
I saw it -- and called the closest connection I could...She missed it.
I've gone phishin for the day...
i just heard two gunshots.
pow pow.
just like chicago.
except in chicago it was like,
pow pow pow pow
pow pow
I guess southern folk just have better aim...
word 'em up Leslie Nix...
It's disturbing to me that when you perform a google search for Jack Horkheimer, I still only show up on the third page for this horkheimer entry...obviously some more google horkheimer bombing is needed...this entry also helped me to see where so many of those 404s are coming from...
There are strangers in my home -- tearing up the bathroom to put in a new bath...The floor is rotted out - they'll have to take out the whole floor...I have to take a dump.
Had a good time at a party last night. Fun to see everyone over at Willivee...Speaking of bathrooms - I think Molly's toilet is way too low to the ground...I mean - if I was to take a dump over there - I'm sure my knees would be higher than my ears...
Good to see Amber -- who tells me she reads my "column," and refuses to say blog because she thinks it sounds too sexual. I tried to goad her into leaving a comment once in a while...She says she rarely even reads the comments -- which are more often than not the best part of this blog -- because you people are just so damn funny...
Of course there were a bunch of other people there as well -- but -- well -- it would just take too damn long to mention everyone...and they don't read my column anyways...That's it -- I'm going somewhere to take a dizzity.
I just got home...But we solved all the world's problems in the meantime...
The Dean campaign is practically knocking on my front door...The deli has joined meetup.com - and the Dean volunteers have chosen our abode for a possible future get together. They called last night and asked about all our seating arrangements and what not...Kinda nifty.
At the same time - I just got a call from work where I was told I wouldn't be allowed to play my CD's at work anymore...Never mind the fact that my taste has been proven scientifically to be superior to the owner's. Never mind that I am willing to use my personal time to update his website...as there are new menu items and old one's gone -- and a new location opening soon. Whatever. I could keep bitchin about it - but that doesn't put my degree to any better use...Have to reform. Must start looking for another job...Seriously consider grad school...
Megnut is revisiting her war flow chart...
Morale is lowering in Iraq..."If Donald Rumsfeld were here, I'd ask him for his resignation." via Insomnia
Oh...I found that entry where Bush's lies were on my blog long before they made international news...
Dear whomever I called last night in my stupor...Please accept my humble apologies. I was trying to call my brother - but either my fingers couldn't push the right buttons - or he still hasn't paid his phone bill. I now have several 411 calls to pay. Mom and See-store - this apology goes out to you as well - as you were the start of my drunkin dialing rampage...I was tore up enough when I talked to them early on in the evening that my mother urged me not to drive...That was around either 11:30 or 12 I believe...I can't really remember specs. Cori -- I apologize to you as well...and all women in general. Simply because I know in my heart of hearts that the anger I felt last night was not directed at all - (only those who don't take constructive criticism well)...It'd been a while since I took multiple shots -- Rumpleman's and the Meister...It's been a while since I drunken dialed...I feel like an eediot. And no -- I'm not gonna go to confession. Only a fop would say --- and to think - I could have written something much more brilliant for Bastille day...
I am a drunk Catholic. I want 8 years+ of answers. I'm gonna confess. If you've got any questions you want answered - I'm gonna do it - Friday...Let me know.Use the comments my bitches...
Another oblique reference --
Not in utter nakedness
But trailing clouds of glory do we come -Wordsworth's "Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood"...
and some quotes/passages:
It intensified her consciousness of error to a practical despair; the break of continuity between her earlier and present existence, which she had hoped for, had not, after all, taken place. Bygones would never be complete bygones till she was a bygone herself.
And the immense sack of straw where in the morning there had been nothing appeared as the faeces of the same buzzing red glutton.
Violent motion relieved thought
It's a good thing Ari Fleischer is stepping down -- his lies are getting looser...via anil dash's daily links
Earlier this week - Buddy Ebsen passed away...Most obits cited his acting career on The Beverly Hillbillies -- but I think more attention should have been paid to his role as Barnaby Jones...I only wish it still came on at 3 in the morning here in the ATL...I had a much more poignant tribute ready to go - but lost it when a PDF file locked up my computer. NPR had a nice piece on it as I was driving home after ten hours at the "office"...Since that time I have been incredibly busy - and unable to blog at all...
There are a few points of light that have begun shining this week...Bush is under fire for using the Niger forgeries in his state of the union address...
Cheney's underhandedness in the energy task force meetings can now be exposed thanks to a 2-1 victory in the Appeals court.
And a beautiful woman emailed me some glossy glam shots...
Unfortunately -- the rest of the week hasn't had very many high points...the problem is like that of those cartoons where people tread around and around in circles burrowing into the earth over and over until they're suddenly six feet under their own path...
I'm still trying to finish up Hardy's Tess D'Urbervilles - 100 pages to go -- and the next time I get the opportunity to sit down and read - it'll be to the back cover. I've talked about my reading habits before -- and how one of my favorite pursuits is to unearth references to other works within the novel themselves...The obsession began with my favorite novel -- Melville's Billy Budd, and continues...
Hardy's references aren't nearly as numerous -- but they point to several intriguing pursuits...
Mark has posted the wedding photos...Enjoy seeing my bad self in a tux...just don't drool on your keyboard too much...
Oh...and happy 4th of julio
What a moron. Does goading combatants into a fight help stop the violence?
What happened to Millie?
An old link - but newly discovered by myself -- a googlebomb that has since fallen from its throne...A search for weopans of mass destruction under the I Feel Lucky search used to lead to this page. It was covered by The Register today.
Tomorrow is the big party at Mike and Tanya Murphy's house. I'll be working a little on the layout - as I've changed the title of the page - and will now have re-photoshop the sign pic...Probably won't be saying to much over the weekend...
Whatsamatta wichu girl? You don't like whatchu c on the menu? U not in the mood for chargrilled chicken with swiss 2night? I mean - Damn Baby! You don't even say goodbye? WhatsamattaU?
This pointless update brought to you by Frustrations - a new fragrance for men.
Herbie Mann died. 
He's probably jammin with Duane again...
Updated the archives to try to get rid of all those 404's I've been serving out. Now I must return to work. The fun and sun are gone -- back to the toil and boil of the deli...
Well - I've returned home. The weekend is over. Let me catch my breath.
I think every muscle in my body has been torn -- I never suspected I would be lifting and moving things in such massive amounts this weekend - and then throwing two horrid rounds of golf on top of it. I'm not saying it wasn't super-fantastic - but damn. I mean. Damn.
The wedding was great. I really enjoyed seeing everyone. And soon you will have the opportunity to see everyone as well - as we have 14 MB worth of pictures to upload. Thank God Myerk is actually gonna help with something - and I don't have to worry about it.
I didn't get around to updating the old links or working on the Skagway stories. I decided to visit with my relatives and old friends instead.
Anybody know what I missed while I was gone? I know the new issue of theplug.net came out today...
And I knew I wasn't the only one that saw homoeroticism in harry potter...I can't recall if I actually ever wrote about it...but I've talked about how gay it seems when he mounts that broom - how the queen loses her sword at his feet in the first movie (cuz I don't read the books - cuz I'm only semi-gay)...phallic symbols abound with friends and family...and as the article mentions - this isn't necessarily a gay novel - but truly queer --
"Sure, all this may seem like "reading into" the novels ? which is, after all, what literary criticism does. But what are we to make of the fact that Harry, before he learns of his true identity, is forced to live in a closet? Or that before he learns of his acceptance to Hogwarts, he is preparing to go to Stonewall High School?" via fimoculous
I'm just glad I have a reference now -- so that when I try to tell my peeps how gay harry really is - they'll listen without laughing - cause they're laughing at me - not with me...
I drove for 12 hours today. I'm tired. I'm drinking Merlot...There...I have prepared my excuse...
Oh - and congrats also to cousins Sean and Ryan --- for gradumutating from high school...I think Ryan's gonna do great at Barbizon.
