They Do.

It is a beautiful day today in the greater city of Atlanta...almost as beautiful as the perfection of Saturday -- where Coleman stuck to his guns and married Kristen. We spent our weekend in lavish luxury -- renting out the Hidden Creek cottage at the Cuscowilla Resort on Lake Oconee...
The place was built for the elite -- with pillows on the bed large enough to put a crick in your neck for five days and counting...Upon exploring our surroundings - Erock became hunter and gatherer -- here showing off his foraging abilities...

The plan was for Michael and I to get to the church at 1:30 - so that we could have an hour to prepare for our parts in the ceremony. Driving up we settled our nerves and joked about how it would be doing the readings in front of a large portion of conservative southern baptists...We sang old church songs from our youth - spicing them up with what masterful beatboxing techniques we could muster - and then thought of certain things we could do to spice up the ceremony itself...e.g. - upon saying "This is the word of the lord" at the end of the reading -- slamming your hand down for emphasis on the "THIS." We also joked that during the responsorial psalm - Mike would have to sing out melodiously - or when it came time for the congregation to respond - if there was a limited response - to chastize them into their part. For that matter there was also a discussion on the fluid movement of the hand to signal to the audience that it was time to respond.

Unfortunately the church was locked - which meant that the bride was rather distracted - and we never really got to rehearse -- as the main rehearsal was on Friday night - and neither of us had the evening off work - nor the $450 it would have cost to go up to the cottage a day early...But - we made due. Getting dressed in the parking lot -- and then receiving our readings from the bride herself -- all decked out in a Ritz-Carlton makeup job that nearly made her impossible to recognize. I was slated for the first reading and, ironically, the responsorial psalm - Mike the second reading. When it came time for the readings -- neither of us really knew when to begin -- and when there was a slight pause in the proceedings of the ceremony -- I looked around nervously and finally got a slight nod from the bride herself. Nerves already somewhat on edge - I rose and stood in front of quite possibly the smallest congregation I have ever seen. The church itself probably only contained about 12 pews...I could feel my trachea constantly constricting as I made my way through the reading -- the one about how God created woman out of man from Adam's rib -- adding the dramatic touch of looking at Coleman's parents during the lines -- "And that is why a man leaves his mother and father," then addressing the bride and groom with "and clings to his wife," then cracking a smile and a swelling of emotions as I finished with - "and they become one body, this is the word of the lord." I didn't slap the hand down.

Then the mishap. I was supposed to go directly into the responsorial psalm - but sent Mike up instead...Fortunately - with most of the audience unfamiliar with the Catholic proceedings - it went largely unnoticed...Mike finished -- a task he said made him feel like he was going to pass out -- and I went up for the responsorial psalm -- cueing the guests with the fluid hand movement so that all would respond "The lord is compassionate in all his works." It was great fodder for later recollections...

Following the ceremony -- and a one hour failed detour to find a store that could replace the forgotten adaptor for the laptop so that DJ Penis could work his magic at the after party -- came the reception at the Nichol's house...a huge home right on the lake...It was there that all the things that make a wedding a wedding occurred -- the throwing of the bouquet - congratulations to G -- whom it seemed was destined to make the play...The removal of the garter and subsequent toss -- you'll never guess who caught his second -- to add to the collection...

The first dance...

Needless to say - the waters were flowing - and soon Mike was seen spinning the mother of the bride round like a top...

Not to be outdone -- Juan soon gathered up his cajones and began swinging with the mother of the groom - who seemed to become rather taken with him...Upon his taking a break - her voice rose above the rest - and in her southern drawl it was heard across the land - "Where's that Juan Boy? Get him back up here! I'm not done with him yet!" Mike would later make the observation that it was a glimpse into our futures - what with all the older husbands inside watching football - and the women all out thrashing around with young men like they were kicking their heels over at Johnny's Hideaway.

The party continued into the wee hours in the morning -- and at this moment the bride and groom are soaking it up in Costa Rica -- while the rest of us have to return to work...My recovery is nearly complete - save for this crick in the neck -- and a regular routine should return soon...