What did you get on your lunch break? I got a rock.

Well -- I've finally finished doing what I can with the poorly developed Halloween pictures from Wal-Mart with Photoshop...Keep in mind that Willi is the digital film expert...

I don't know exactly what happened this Halloween...It came down to less than 24 hours before I was able to decide exactly what I was going to "be." It came down to less than 3 hours before we knew where the party was going to be held...It took less time than that for me to spill beer all over B's head...And a little longer for me to get schnockered...

When we all got over to B's house, we sat through another one of Manah's horrific lectures about the evils of Halloween -- and it was fitting that she should deliver it in her get-up as Indian Prophet. I think the combination of the trembles I felt surging through my soul from those golden words and the shock of seeing B dressed as J-lo was what caused the beer catastrophe to ensue. I mean -- we all know B was born without an ass -- so when I saw this thang on her -- I was, well, in awe. I tried drowning out the impure thoughts in my head by chasing bass with bass -- not to mention a jello shot here and there for taste -- but the intoxicating waters only quickened my sight to the object of my infatuation...Finally - in a pure act of desperation -- I feigned losing control of my costume and doused the fires of my passion - on her head - with beer...That seemed to help...

Until Star showed up.

Once again I was drawn in by the sins of the flesh. Manah's words were but a distant memory when I beheld the awesome power of Star's dead mermaid bosom. I think B was on to my impure thoughts -- and despite my efforts to ward her off with a drenching of sweet english ale -- the two of them doubled their efforts against me. I am all but convinced now that it was no accident that one can observe Star's navel in this shot. She had been crafting this pose the entire evening in the wrinkles of her mind - knowing that if she could get under the lights just right -- she would be wearing nothing more than a translucent green aura. Ohhh Star -- you naughty girl...

Still - Star is not without morals. She knew she could only push the envelope so far -- so she brought a safety net. An idol so blatant in its protective powers that a man would be a fool to test its mettle. Bestowed with the power of creative cuteness -- Star revealed that she had brought her Bret - and that their costumes were actually part of a grander scheme. They had used their creative wits to form -- a theme. Dead pirate, dead mermaid. Bret knew our thoughts...being from beyond -- he could read all...For our sakes - he gave us fair warning of our fates should we give in to temptation -- tattooed with the evils of the flesh.

Warded off - at last - I managed to retreat for some time into the shadows of B's home. But it wasn't long before I was presented with a new nemesis. BEHOLD! THE AWESOME POWERs OF THE SULTRY SUZANNE!

Sensing my slip-up - the shadows offering protection no more -- Star redoubled her efforts -- and soon I was lost in bedlam once more...

Finally -- at long last, and after a an effort worthy of at least some acknowledgement -- I surrendered my pride -- raised my arms in defeat - and left myself open to any woman's whim...

Later I would sleep -- alone...again...

(But at least I didn't drink the ashtray beer!)

BTW - for those who need the explanation for the get-up -- refer back to the big question.