Lying awake last night, staring into the blue and gray darkness, I made that universal mistake of trying to sleep. I've wanted to get the go going much earlier, but failed yet again today.
What I remember keeping me awake last night was rather benign. I kept going over the words I'd written here earlier, "in the shadows of the howitzer hungry slopes of Alyeska." They are, of course, dripping with dramatic intent. But they fail. They are the evidence a university creative writing professor feasts upon when they use it to tell you how impossible it is to make it as a writer and that your writing is just too damn wordy. Say what you mean, nothing more.
So ended my thoughts of writing.
The problem with those words, a problem I'm still thinking about now - on this overcast day in Michigan - is that usually you need sunlight in order to cast a shadow. I can't recall the effect of the sky in Girdwood during the waning winter months I spent there - but I am guessing that there weren't so much shadows as there was a surrounding thick grayness to the world. So to say that one is standing in the shadows of the mountains would be entirely false. Sure, you are standing in their presence, which was what I had actually intended, but are there shadows on overcast days?
Right now I am looking out into the backyard, where a rather large tree is merely 30 yards from the tip of my nose. The earth underneath is darker - but there is no distinct boundary. No firm line. Of course - there are no lines in nature, but I am again abusing word choice. What I mean, is, there is no distinct shadow. There are tones of lightness that spread out, thin out, and disperse without warning.
And now as the sun momentarily peeks out, shapes are molded into the grass. In this instance, there is most definitely a shadow cast upon the earth. Its design emerges - then fades - then reappears. An oft ignored light show. The passing woodchuck is not concerned.
Yet I was. And I laid awake thinking about shadows as I looked around my room. And the clocks kept spinning. And eventually I awoke this morning, with no recollection of any dreams.
Update: (6:02) Just came back in from the outside. Short of hurling rocks, sticks, or insults at me -- still, the shadows made themselves known. Apologies to all shadows or relatives of the shadows -- I've been living in ignorance.
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