Langston Hughes -
- people’s poet – the cultural messenger of Harlem for that period
- one of the most versatile and controversial writers of the 20th century. 860 poems.
- prolific writer, poetry has been translated into 60 different languages
- essay “My America” excerpt – 1943
- poem “Freedom’s Plough”

Spoken Word
- so much history can be found in the home just by talking to the elders
- “I am the darker brother” an anthology of modern poems by african-americans
- “Life ain’t no crystal stair”

Used the terms African, Black and Negro interchangeably which was uncommon in that time
- Nikki Giovanni, Oscar Brown, Gill Scott Heron., Sterling Brown

Watergate Blues
We Beg Your Pardon America
“Oatmeal Man – Gerald Ford”
AuH2o goldwater

Heron’s Generation
- series of poets
- Smokey Robinson
- Marvin Gaye – What’s Going On
- Curtis Mayfield – Choice of Colors
- Donny Hathaway
- KRS-One – knowledge reins supreme

Common Traits in Shakur and Langston Hughes – political family
son of black panther parents
raised in womb of imprisoned mother
wants to be a revolutionary when he grows up

Shakur’s Book
- His aspirations
- Shakur’s use of the term “nigga”
- never ignorant getting goals accomplished
- what do you accomplish by being a n?
- where do you go from being a n?
- as you raise your children – what do you pass on to them as n?
- they don’t see themselves moving beyond 21
- now a cross cultural term
- how does that move society forward?

Common Themes
- warrior poems
- poems with rose in the title
- sensitivity and strength

Two different sides of Tupac
- the one saddened by what he saw
- wanting to speak about those issues
- talked about heroes – Huey Newton and Nelson Mandela
- “Where there’s a will there’s a world”

Remember when hip-hop was supposed to die out? It’s been some 20 years now…

Grrrrrrrin. Jessamyn West and Me at MLA 2007, originally uploaded by Kevin Yezbick.

Ahhh yes. Many chins – milliseconds. Look how happy I am! The funny thing is – Seestore managed to steal my sunshine when Jessamyn said – “Of course I know who you are, your sister used to have dreadlocks…”

Point Seestore.

Just got back from the Michigan Library Association annual conference – and if there’s one thing I’ve learned – it’s that I’m not being heard – or I’m not being loud enough – or I’m not communicating my message in the right way.

Many of the presentations I saw – all insightful and wonderful – could very easily be implemented at my library. Many of the issues that were being dealt with concerning the reorganization of the association – could also be placed atop my library.

Why haven’t I been blogging? Fear of repurcussions?

Hell yeah. The chilling effect.

I found it flattering when Jessamyn asked if I was the annoyedlibrarian.. If only. Though I’ve thought about going out incognito of late – my reaching out through the social spheres enabled me to establish some link with some stranger with what I consider some strong creds. Some deal eh?

I don’t know. A librarian can’t really afford to manage multiple sites at once…or can he? I mean – the Annoyed Librarian is a free site – but isn’t it nice to have your own domain? I mean — sure – I could create a free domain and rant for many a year without giving myself up — but would I?

No. It is not I.

I am not loquacious or ironic enough. Instead I will let my words stumble and languish here — until I finally start up my new as yet to be revealed beta spectaculoroso site.

But damn – Jessamyn West?

Do you recognize that name? You should — it happened here: googlebooks.

Next stop Parker Posey!

It’s ALL HAPPENING. ha. ha. ha
h
a
h
a

Tomorrow is also the arrival of the new Macbook — which ought to help tremendously in terms of comfortable writing spaces. This lappy before me is whirring away right now and can’t seem to handle all the little externals I’m throwing into the mix. Having a modern machine may make tasks a little less tasklike and provide for more memorable moments – untethered by the cords that now surround.

Tomorrow is only two minutes away – so to bed I go.

There have been lots of items of interest that I’ve observed in the past few months that haven’t made it up here. I’ve gotten out of the habit of sketching around here due to the whims of the server this blog resides on to up and kick out its guts – rendering the comments more pointless than they were before. So on top of alienating the few readers I have – I figured I might as well alienate the readers I don’t have as well.

I don’t think that’s what I meant, but onwards…

Point being – I’m much too involved with reality to sit down and be propah here. I can hear the granules of sand hitting the base of the hourglass even as I pluck away at these keys. To try to recap what has been left out seems an impossible task — so I don’t know whether I’ll ever even bother…

Some items of note: Cousin [Name Withheld] done got hitched in Nashville. Met a very interesting Florida gal in Nashville. Then met Ariel in person — which was bizarre – as I was completely not myself after an evening of overdoing it at the wedding reception. I also met my nephew, Aardvark — which was awesome…To get a better feel of what’s been happening of late – you should probably try either my flickr, Willi’s Flickr, or Seestore’s Flickr, who, by the way, has cut off her dreadlocks.

See you in two weeks, maybe?

It was much more engaging than I was expecting. As someone going in knowing very little about the ways and mores of copyright law — the book reeled me in. Lessig leads you slowly into the water — allows you to splash around a bit in the history of copyright — wades with you up to the modern era while always referring back to the history so that you always have it in your swimming trunks — and presents several sound arguments along the way — all building up to the Supreme Court case Eldred v. Ashcroft. At that point — you’re swimming in some pretty deep waters.

What one would expect to be a droll lesson in legality is tinctured with the bright, impassioned tales of an attempt to guide a corralled spirit into greener pastures. To open the doors of creativity. To free culture. Lessig’s writing guides you along so subtly through the case history that in reading you don’t realize the sympathies you’ve developed until the verdict is read and you realize what we’ve lost. You empathize when he speaks of his realization, devastation and circles of recalculation following the defeat.

When I reached the halfway point earlier this week I realized I would need to reorganize my aggregator feeds. I’ve been stifling Lessig’s blog by keeping him contained in my political folder — which has seen its popularity plummet since the election. The movement towards an improvement in copyright law is ongoing — and after this reading — has a reinvested follower.

The book, in its presentation of reforming current legislation, touches several times on instances that in one way or another seep into the bigger picture. Everything, to risk melodramatics, is in some manner or another attached to everything else.

(I’ve lost my initial point here — as I just returned from the dentist’s office with a mouthful of novocaine.)

Of particular interest to me was the point that in securing copyrights, publishers of trade journals or specialized writings are able to suspend the distribution of periodicals to libraries in favor of establishing databases that require a subscription to view. Much too expensive for the everyday joe to afford — the wealth of knowledge that used to be available to all is now relegated to those fortunate enough to be able to afford it, or belong to an institution that can proxy it. A more dramatic picture was painted of those movies that have been under copyright since the late 1920′s — but have no commercial worth – so instead of being digitally preserved by archivists — the film is slowly disintegrating into dust.

The reading touched upon several matters that I am sure I’ll be delving into in the next two years as I attempt to become a custodian of culture. It opened my eyes just a little wider to the importance of the position and the merits of librarianship. Libraries are a foundation of true democracy. They are supposed to level the playing field with open and free access to information for all. (and cue a deep swelling of patriotic music, slowly fading out the lights)

Recommended: Free Culture.

The longest entry…EVER!

I picked this book off the shelf by happenstance as I meandered through the local library looking for an open computer to check the catalog for some other flight of fancy. This process is often my downfall and the main reason my books in queue box is often static. Casting a glance in a certain direction while at the library is leaving yourself open to the play of your imagination and desires. The presentation and freedom of information openly offered tends to leave me staggering out the front doors with books tucked in up under my nose that I will never get the chance to read without checking the renewal box at least twice. In the past few days, I realized that the hours of freedom slipping by seemed to be travelling down a siphon. The words of seestore, to read what I can now because once school begins there won’t be any time, began to increase their font in my mind. Right about now they’re SCREAMING out of sheer panic.

So there I was, attempting to read some seven or so books at the same time. I’d divvy out a chapter here and a chapter there on alternating nights. There never was a true system to the madness. The bookmarks seemed to be moving on their own, wedging themselves closer and closer to the back cover of each work. The majority of the books were LIS related, each shelling out their own take on the ins and outs of introducing the major aspects of Library and Information Science. But the Diaries transported me out of my bed, back in time and threw me into situations with my favorite philosopher. There we were, both a little miffed by the circumstances of war, both wondering about our own inadequacies — and discovering that we share a healthy number of attributes.

While reading, I jotted in my own little black book.

As the notebook has progressed, the tone of his voice has shifted. What started as a steady certainty has now come coupled with a shade of fear – as the approaching war drums begin to make themselves known. The entries become more dispersed – infrequent – brief – but still notable.

Sartre on Journal writing

Funny to read Sartre commenting on Gide’s journal – there are revelatory moments for the both of us. Sartre’s journal becomes an exercise – a purging – or as he says in notebook 3, p69

“[...] this journal is a calling into question of myself [...] I don’t do this calling into question with groans and humility, but coldly and in order to move forward. Nothing of what I write is an act, in the sense in which I was speaking of Gide’s acts. It consists of recordings, and as I write these down I have the (fallacious) impression of learning what I write behind me. I’m never ashamed of it, I’m never proud of it.

emphasis mine
I find this last bit a little hard to believe. Nearly every time I place pen to pad I must rethink as the ink rolls onto the page. There is a hesitancy and a caution before I can commit to one word or the next. Furthermore – upon commitance – I am almost always drawn back over the past few lines to check myself – and more often find myself feeling assaulted by my lack of talent than I do amazed or comforted. But to continue…

“There’s almost a gap between the moment when I felt and the moment when I write [...] When I write, I try to establish a solid, clearly defined foundation as a point of departure. After all, among primitive peoples there are ceremonies to help the living person to die; to help the soul detach itself from the body. My ‘confessional’ notes have the same purpose: to help my present being slip into the past – push it in a bit deeper, if need be. There’s a degree of illusion there, for it’s not enough to expose a psychological constant in order to modify it. But at least that sketches some possible hint of change.” p70

In the following pages, Sartre details his youth, which bears a striking similarity to my own – in that there is a stark realization that time is stopping for no one – that before you know it you are “up to your neck” in life. While I still don’t think I’ve fully grasped onto this challenge – Sartre’s words resonate. Then a prelude to his writing theory, p78

Sartre’s Youth and Why We Write

“The sole purpose of an absurd existence was indefinitely to produce works of art which at once escaped it. That was its sole justification; an imperfect justification moreover, which did not succeed in redeeming those long gobs of time that had to be swallowed one after another. It was really a morality of salvation through art. As for life itself, this was to be lived in carefree fashion, any old way. I was doing so well at living it ‘any old way’ that I was getting into a rut. I was acquiring bachelor habits.”

On my own lack of foresight

Perhaps the clearest and most resounding sentence I have carried with me out of this reading is a remark of why this journal business, for Sartre, is but a flight of fancy: “I don’t want to be haunted by myself till the end of my days.” p 139. That is an excellent example of foresight. That is an ingredient, an aspect, and/or a character trait of which I must admit to having a profound lack. There is no seeing for me. More often than not I am swung between trees from the vine of passion, only to find the next vine is not there. The trapeze artist – performing without a net – reaching out to grasp the hand of a partner who just doesn’t exist. I’ve been thinking like this recently because of this web presence. I’ve also been thinking about it for the collection of journals stacked in my closet that preceded this space. I’ve already mentioned how I feel on reading just the last few lines that surface from thought. Take that feeling and multiply it by years of journal lines. I can’t go from one page to the next without feeling a twinge of regret for something I said or did to someone else. I am…haunted by those words. But those words are more than just words. They are words imbued with truth and reality. It really is a horrific thing.

I see a lack of foresight in my conversations as well. Often times I’m swept up in the moment. There is a giddy lack of oxygen and I’ve heard myself in recordings giggling like a little school girl. Most of us hate the sound of our recorded voices. I hate the sound of my recorded social interactions. I know that in conversations with certain people, it is as if I am sheathing myself in a different skin. The approach, the tone, the background — everything about the conversation is already changed before it has begun. There is no equal footing. There is a prejudice. This is reflected somewhat in the nature of this post. Obviously the written word is a different medium of communication — but even in this post alone: I could have simply continued it in the same fashion as other posts — one long entry. But I broke it down into an extended entry because of its length. Of the few that read these random daily musings, even fewer will get through to this point. I don’t blame them.

To continue with the notion of the recorded voice. I’ve mentioned how I often wake in the mornings – knowing that late in the preceding evening I had ventured onto some stranger’s lot in the blogosphere and left a comment behind. As the fog is lifting in the morning I often go back and read – and cringe. There is something in the nature of this form that demands one to be succint. When I try to be succint, my words often lose their nuance. That isn’t to say that my struggles for clarity exist only when brevity is sought. Please see the above as evidence. I read what I write sometimes and wonder whether people can actually feel or understand or empathize or whatever with what I am trying to say. It can be crippling.

I watched a high profile online personality suffer a breakdown with an eery understanding. I thought about a particular utterance he’d made — that perhaps people thought he was being dramatic and that he should just have a beer, sit down on the couch and chill out. I also thought about his emphasis on the word relate. Relating. On not being alone. I don’t have this documented in the black book — but I know that Sartre has mentioned the notion of “playing” in both Being and Consciousness – and am almost certain he mentions it here in the diaries. My quick thought — one has to be dramatic or “play” in order to relate because one has to be perceived. When we are forced to double back and see ourselves in our attempts to communicate, or relate, we see ourselves being inauthentic — because we aren’t able, in our dramatic acts, to completely display what it is tearing at us from the inside.

Just linking to the movie raises a quandary in itself. Something so intensely personal — made public. But in that personal world, making things public, relating — was a personal act. These last few sentences are examples of a lack of foresight. I could keep pounding on these keys and try to make you understand what I’m thinking — but I’m not sure it can be done. I’m not sure if I want it done. Once you let something out you open yourself up to the world – and the world is often heartless. I’ve looked over some of the others who linked to the movie – and there is one in particular that sickens me with their callousness. Let’s approximate it. You have a large blister that rolls under the touch of your fingers. Say it’s on your thumb. You grip that blister between your teeth and rip your head back, tasting the liquids beneath before the pain begins to rise. That — that is an approximation.

One last note on this topic. Sartre may have hit on something in that second blockquote above when he mentioned trying to establish a “solid, clearly defined foundation as a point of departure.” Sometimes knowing where to begin is a good way of devising a way to end.

Sartre, Pessimism or Honesty

From Sartre’s Notebook 12:

“All happiness has to be paid for, and there’s no affair that doesn’t end badly. I don’t write this in the pathetic mode, but simply and bluntly, because I’ve always thought it and because I really had to say it here. It hasn’t prevented me from throwing myself into affairs; but I was always convinced they would end sordidly, and happiness has never befallen me without my thinking at once about what would come to pass afterwords.”

Saturday 24th
“For the past three days, thaw. Mud, slush; the roads have an oddly female smell this morning. This soft, (ed. note, editor being Kevin: My writing here is quite illegible) gentle, grey weather saddens your heart. I was a bit drunk yesterday evening, when I wrote the last two notes. Not that I got drunk on purpose; but Pieter, who was going on leave, bought me a drink and then I was thirsty and drank a bottle of wine and, in short, I was so on edge the alcohol went to my head. Just enough to give me a vision of myself. Basically, that’s what drunkeness is with me: when I’m drunk I have a vision of myself. This morning I’m dry and dismal, with something I can feel right down inside me all ready to be unleashed – and which undoubtedly will be unleashed at about one in the afternoon.”

I think perhaps that that is a fitting way to end this post. Nothing quite like scatalogical humor to lighten the load of what is otherwise a serious introspective investigation. I’ve taken the liberty of quoting vast passages of the notebooks — and lacking any serious notion of copyright law – have done so innocently. I’ll mention again the title: The War Diaries of Jean Paul Sartre. That’s a link that should be clear enough to give credit where credit is due. I wish I could exit gracefully — but I’m afraid most of my energy was spent in a rant some paragraphs above. I must be about in a few hours as well…

I went back to the library the other day and returned all the programming books I had checked out. I needed to get all distractions out of the way. I then promptly checked out a DVD on Wassily Kandinsky, Virginia Woolf’s A Room of One’s Own, a book entitled Nonverbal behavior : perspectives, applications, intercultural insights from CJ Hogrefe – and Donald Asher’s Graduate Admissions Essays: Write Your Way Into the Graduate School of Your Choice, which is what I had set out for in the first place.

These are all in addition to the first edition of George M. Eberhart’s fine series: The Whole Libary Handbook. I’ve made it up to the chapter on the ISBN coding – and I must say it has opened up quite a few hidden treasures. Add to that Herbert S. White’s collection of papers Librarians and the Awakening from Innocence and Redesigning Library Services, A Manifesto from Michael Buckland and you can imagine how much dustier that old copy of Proust is getting by the bedside.

Then there’s the two classes I’m taking at the community college. But I don’t want to get into those here. I think they may be on to me. Shhh.

So this whole Personal Statement thing I’ve been struggling with. Well. For some reason or another, I’ve been finding it rather difficult to just sit down and write something out. The whole process is reminiscent of my knack for sweatin’ deadlines. Philosophy papers used to love to milk my brain. Those topics would mull around in my head, points of an outline would gather themselves around the bedroom on sticky notes for days on end, all of a sudden – WHAM – paper’s due tomorrow. The papers all worked out — it was just my method then — but this is a little different. This is about me. This is difficult.

So, I’m gonna go ahead and get a jump start on what I plan to begin using a portion of this site for in the future. I’m gonna turn my blog into my personal notebook. Eventually — when I get that letter of acceptance in the mail and my stress level momentarily dips – I’ll build a blog around the entire school experience. I haven’t quite figured out how to implement all the tools around this notion yet – but it’s pretty clear that a printable format is around the bend and that the categories on the new section likely will not be closely related to Beers in Me. Those have pretty much died off anyways. Don’t worry. You won’t have to see any of it. It’ll have it’s own folder and cozy little hideaway. Of course, you never have to see any of this. You can just walk away.

If, however, this kinda thing gets you going — or you yourself are wondering how in the heck other people have gone about this process, then might I suggest you

Okay — the question the:

PERSONAL STATEMENT

Please indicate your reasons for requesting admission to the Library and Information Science Program. Describe your plans for graduate study and a professional career as they relate to your personal and educational background. If there are special circumstances or factors that you wish considered with your application, please indicate. Attach a current resume or curriculum vitae and any additional materials. Please limit your statement to 250 words.

Just so you know – the above paragraph is 67 words long.

Okay. Moving on to the first part of Asher’s projects – wherein he asks you to consider personal questions and respond with either lists or one or two sentence answers. So that’s what we’ll get done tonight.

1.a What makes you different, unique, unusual? I spent my junior year in High School living in Monterrey, Mexico. I spent my junior summer in college living in a tent in Skagway, Alaska.

1.b What writers and which particular articles in your field of study have had the greatest influence on the development of your thought?

and

1.c Who were your favorite professors in college and why? How has each influenced you?

1.d What was the best paper or exam you wrote in your major? What makes it good? Unbridling Billy Budd, because I wrote it for me. I developed a sincere love for the text and the sub-text and everything that text would make you feel. I took a reader’s-response and flipped it around so many times the thought of the book still makes my head spin. What began as a fascination with Melville’s continual references to Billy as a horse turned into a ferocious appetite for the “truth” of the book. It is a hunger that is still waiting to be filled – as I am pretty sure that if the book teaches you anything – it is that there is no absolute truth. (Which, of course, would be an absolute truth and thereby negates itself.)

1.e What is the single most important concept you have learned in college?
Learning is fun. The quest and the acquisition of knowledge is a wonderful task that is unending and rarely unsatisfying. Often times in the search for one nugget, one comes across an entire mine filled with treasures. While there are times that the task can become extremely difficult – there is always someone or something who has been down a similar path and knows the easiest steps to get to the destination. (I’m thinking of good professors here.)

2.a Where were you and what were you doing when you first thought of pursuing this? I was sitting in Alaska in my brother’s condominium, which he lovingly refers to as his fishbowl, working on my weblog — and coming across other people who shared similar tastes and thought processes who also shared a career in LIS.

2.b How has your interest evolved, and what specific turning points can you identify? my interest has evolved in that I believe I have now narrowed down my desired field to the realm of Metadata. This turning point came about recently when I saw a presentation online from Clay Redding entitled “What is Metadata (and what does the Metadata Librararian do)?” He was discussing XML and standards and validation and all this wonderful language that I have grown to love over the past two years that I’m not going to get into here in detail because I need to finish these questions and I’ve been over this enough on this website as it is.

2.c What work experiences have led you to believe you would like to pursue graduate education? Oooo…Is this a trick question?

2.d What experiences as a volunteer or as a traveler have influenced your career direction? While living in the tent in Alaska — there was a library just down the street that had access to all the modern technologies — and books to check out. (Had I needed them. I’d brought my own library up and wasn’t worried about the internet so much in 1998. Which reminds me — which one of you Hanousek residents stole my copy ofHeart of Darkness, and did you see Ken Jennings nail that question on Final Jeopardy?)

2.e What experiences from your family life have contributed to this choice? Both my see-store and my cousin Sean have stated their beliefs that I belong in graduate school. Both have pursued higher education for themselves…annnnnnddd….I’m gonna need to think about this one a lil more…Better highlight it.

3. Oh man. This calls for a table. I never learned how to do tables. Ummmm… I’ll get back to this one too.

4. List of profs at the targeted university that interest me: Well, so far I’ve only come across Dr. Mika at the orientation, but based on the descriptions in this prospective student packet — it looks like Dr. Ankem, Dr. Anghelescu, Dr. Day, Dr. Du, Dr. Neavill, and Dr. Walster are all interested in like topics.

5. Can you describe an experience that demonstrates remarkable drive or perseverance? Ummmm….There was that time I was gripped by the fear…But I don’t think that’s a good story to share — although getting off that mountain in the morning when the snow obscured every direction was a rather wonderful tale that if I haven’t told here already I should probably get around to it. Which reminds me — I really need to fix that search function.

5.b What do you do with your leisure time? I read. I write. I shoot basketballs in the twilight. I study. I dream. I see movies on the big screen. I laugh. I cry. I think back and wonder why. I ponder. I break. But never do I make the mistake of <chorus>Poesy! Whoa – o….Whoa -o… Can’t you see? It’s poesy and it’s all about meeeeeeeeeee! I am awesome I am grand! Please don’t misunderstand, don’t deconstruct what I have worked so hard to builllllllllld! <chorus>Poesy! Whoa-o….Whoa-o…

5.c What can you tell someone that would lead them to believe they’d enjoy your company? I’ve never seen Gigli. Orrrrr….maybe…Hanson is the most misunderstood band in the history of the world? I can’t believe they have a wikipedia entry.

okie-dokie — I’m tired…And I need to think about a couple of these questions a little more. Tomorrow is the database class – so I need to get some shut eye. And then its on to the next part of the exercise. Perhaps I’ll upload those pictures of the tail end of Hurricane Frances over Michigan as well.

Typee

• Tenier’s Saints (246) David Tenier the Younger – artist
• Dibdin: “There’s a sweet little cherub that sits up aloft, To look out for the life of poor Jack.” (252)

Omoo

• Urim and Thummim (358): Urim is derived from the Hebrew for “light”, or “to give light”, and Thummim from “completeness”, “perfection”, or “innocence”.
• Clarence in the butt of Malmsey (368) The creature certainly died a luscious death, quite equal to Clarence’s in the butt of Malmsey.
• Rule of Three (389)
• Alexander Pope’s “Epistle to A Lady”
• Rizzio

Mardi

• Whistonian theory concerning the damned and the comets: Whiston fancied that the earth was created from the atmosphere of one comet, and that it was deluged by the tail of another. The heat which remained from its first origin, in his opinion, excited the whole antediluvian population, men and animals, to sin, for which they were all drowned in the deluge, excepting the fish, whose passions were apparently less violent.
• Sesotris
• Thermopylae
• Tartarus: Tartarus is the lowest region of the world, as far below earth as earth is from heaven.
• Epaminondas
• Belshazzar
• Belisarius
• Hafiz
• Paracelsus
• Chimborazo

There have also been several eloquent quotes or passages I’ve jotted down. Those will be up tomorrow.